Daniel Goes To Camp

So you all remember how we were having bullying problems at school with Daniel a couple of years ago?  Well last year was great because all the same kids were there and they'd all gotten to know him.   The school is almost all new kids this year because there was such a huge change of people last Summer and here we go again.  We've been having problems with a few boys in Daniel's class.  One has been especially mean starting with the fourth day of school.  Daniel was getting his books out of his locker at the end of the day and the kid slammed Daniel's locker door on his head.  He and a few others thought it would be fun to play chicken with him with a basketball Daniel had gotten at recess.  While they were playing chicken with him they thought it'd be fun to call him "retard", "sicko" and "weirdo".   Daniel hit his wall and threw the ball over the fence when he got it, started screaming the F word (which he's never done before) and took the main kid's jacket from the bench, threw it in the mud and started jumping up and down on it.

So I got on the net to see if there was anything that I could use to educated his classmates.  I found an awesome DVD called Intricate Minds II.  When I was showing a clip of the dvd with other kids with Asperger's to Daniel he started crying.   When I asked him why he replied, "I thought I was the only one."  He's read books by kids with AS and we've discussed it a lot but it was the first time he actually saw someone else.  I decided that I need to find some type of support group or something for when we get to NY.

In my research I found a little piece of heaven.   It's a seven-week camp just for kids like Daniel.  I really didn't think we'd get in as slots fill up quickly.   I emailed them and got a brochure on Tuesday.  I called the Director and we spoke for about an hour.   He talked to Daniel for about 25 minutes.  The next day I sent him a letter that I'd written to the school about Daniel and AS as well as his IEP (Individual Education Program).  He wrote back and said he was sure Daniel would fit right in.  I was sobbing when I told Daniel he was in and he ran over to hug me.  That does not happen very often.  While talking with one of the references, the mom of a boy that went last year, I realized it was the first time I'd ever spoken with someone that understood exactly where I was coming from.  When I told her this she said, "Oh... just wait until Family Visit Day!"  I'm so excited for Daniel.  For the first time in his sweet life he'll get to feel what we feel every single day and take for granted.  He'll belong and everyone will understand him.  What a gift.

It's not cheap but you get what you pay for.  There is one counselor per every two children!  It's on an amazing 40 acres of land with a large lake and lots of fun to be had while they work on social skills.  I'm hoping that our insurance at least partially pays for it.  If not, it doesn't matter.  He's going.  It's an investment in his future and we feel we owe it to him before he starts Middle School in the States next year.  We've always lived in a little community.  Mostly here in Germany with a little three-year stint at Ft. Campbell where we also lived on post and he was in a tiny school.  Next year could be a whole different ball game.  We have no idea if we'll get housing on the Academy and that's the only way he'll go to that school.  We wanted him to be prepared and to start school with a boost of confidence.  Those teen years are hard enough as they are.  Try it with already being socially challenged.

We had an AS awareness class during their health class yesterday where we showed the DVD.  The kids really got it!   The bullies will always be bullies (parents were invited but of course, theirs didn't show up) but it did a good job of reaching out to the other kids asking them to be "champions" and stick up for the child being bullied or tell someone.  I couldn't wait until Daniel got home yesterday to see what the kids said to him (he wasn't in the room for the class).  It was too cute.  One girl told him he was really smart, one invited him to her bday party tomorrow (he rarely ever gets invited) and he said that even the main bully was really nice.  When I asked what he'd said, Daniel replied, "Nothing.  But he left me alone and for him, that's really nice!"  Hopefully it lasts.  Today he got another invitation to a party next week.  Alleluia!

So, if you're still with me, I actually touched yarn yesterday!   Nope, alas, not for knitting.  I'm making gift baskets up as gifts with biscotti and Gingerbread Coffee Creamer.  I used this recipe but I tweaked it a bit adding sugar and cinnamon.  It's nummy.  See the yarn?  It's Classic Elite leftover from Aggie's sweater which you can read about here.

Comments

[judy]

I hope it is only positive from here on . Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

[Kim]

Jean, I am so happy for Daniel! The camp sounds so awesome for him. You and Dan are not only great models for your kids but also for parents of other special needs children. I can't wait to hear the summer updates. I suspect Daniel will come home with several new friends - maybe even some from your new community.

[bri]

Wow, Jean. I think you are all going to have a fantastic, tranformative summer. Way to go the distance for DS!

[Joan]

My sister had to finally pull my niece out of public school in miidle school due to bullying. The cruelty of the girls inthat school was jaw-droppingly horrible. So my niece has been home schooling for 4 years and loving it. She hooks up with other home-schooled kids for things like chess club, dramatic arts & library outings. My sister hired another home-schooling mom (ex-teacher) to do the math instruction bc that is my sis' weak spot. Good luck with your son!!

[Sophie]

I bear with you both. I was little different from the other kids at school - just much younger and physically slow - but how was I bullied! Tough times. At first I thought your boy had a very healthy reaction, expressing his anger out, but you made so much a better work out of the situation. You're a great mum! I wish Daniel a fantastic time at the Camp.

[Lisa Pineau]

I was wondering if you would say more about the summer camp for 7 weeks that works on social skills? Also, one of your commenters said that her younger brother went to a school in New Haven Connecticutt... a new Asperger's unit just opened at ChapelHaven, CT. It looks great, but the cost is prohibitive for most; I expect more to develop in the future for those of us with the middle grade 6-8 age group by the time they need it for transition assistance. Blessings to you, Mom, you are great and your son is blessed by you! Lisa Pineau, Chaplain, Maj, USAF (ret.) http://asdhomeeducation.blogspot.com/

[Emma.]

I'm thrilled for Daniel, and for you. It will be a great gift to him. I hope he has the best time.

[Wool Winder]

It's encouraging to hear about the reaction the kids had to watching the DVD. I hope they will continue to reach out to Daniel now that they understand a little better about AS.

[Robin]

I'm so happy for Daniel...and you! A lot of the problems with bullies begin with their parents...they really need the education but secondly, and which you have touched on is *education* the kids--they just don't realize what issues others may have! When my oldest son was in elementary school he was bullied...we talked about it found a way to approach it and they became best friends through High School! I wish I could give you a real hug...but here's a virtual one ((((((((hug))))))))!!

[Rachel]

I'm so happy for you and Daniel! The camp sounds like it will be a wonderful experience for him, and I'm sure it will be something he remembers and takes away the the lessons from for the rest of his life. It's also heartwarming to hear how responsive Daniel's classmates were to the DVD they viewed. There are, unfortunately, always going to be cruel kids (and adults, for that matter), but any little step that can be taken to help them understand someone who is different than themselves is a step in the right direction.

[Kim]

What relief you must feel, to have found some hope. You are a good mom and Daniel is lucky to have you in his corner rooting for him. I hope that camp brings smiles for both of you!

[Kathleen]

Just sayin', Gracie gets it in the head with the locker from the twits next to her. Some kids are just mean and that's it. You know, they can't "feel good" about themselves unless they are making someone else feel bad. It's not just Daniel--I don't think. The DVD sounds great. I am glad Daniel found something in the DVD too. Sweet boy. I bet that hug was priceless. Owen only really hugs me when he is sick. Woohooo on the camp. :)

[Kat]

I'm so glad you found a camp for Daniel. One of my younger brothers is special needs. My parents fought long and hard for the public schools to accomodate him, but as HS neared it just wasn't the right environment anymore. They found a summer camp program (he still goes back every summer for a reunion week), and a boarding school. He's now living on his own within a community in New Haven, CT. He grew so much when he started going to camp. And those Family Visiting Days were awesome.

[Kathleen in Nova Scotia]

I'm so glad that the kids have a video-helper to understand how Daniel is different and similar. I read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time on the flight over and I was thinking that should be required reading, but a DVD sounds perfect for kids. I can't wait to hear about summer camp :)

[Mia]

Jean, DVDs like this one should be required for all teachers and students to watch. I love it when some one tries to survive a day in a wheel chair and they realize the problems that those with visible handicaps have. It is hard to understand a hidden handicap, speaking from experience. I really hope that the military will step up and pay for this camp.

[Tori]

I'm so glad for Daniel! That DVD not only affected his life positively, but think about the other kids that are "coming around" They will carry that through their lives and hopefully stand-up and be champions when they are needed! Take care! The camp sounds like Fun and the perfect fit for Daniel!

[Valerie]

You are a really good Mom. The camp sounds great! My biggest frustration in getting a kid through middle school was the way other parents abdicated responsibility and supervison...just when the kids needed it most. You will shepherd Daniel through those years just fine.

[Jackie]

I sure hope the DVD made its point with the bully and the other kids. My son has Down Syndrome, though he's high functioning, the social aspects of school can be so hard. I can really relate to your stating that you want him to feel what we feel everyday. My son is now 10 and I'm finding that I wished I would have gotten involved with our DS support group when he was younger so he could make friends that are like him. How wonderful that you found a camp and he is able to attend!

[Annie]

I'm so happy for Daniel, Jean. The bullying just breaks my heart. Good for you for being pro-active and helping the situation.

[Diane E.]

Great for you and Daniel and your family! You made that happen, what a great Mom you are!